it’s all excellent advice, and it’s advice i’ve given to others before.

regrettably, i may have shoehorned myself into a professional place i never expected to be. ever since stumbling into this line of work in the mid-1990s, i never really have given myself to treat the creative process as leisure artistic expression or under hobbying pretenses.

at the same time, i’ve also confronted the sensation that i’m really not that talented (despite getting this far professionally without any university baccalaureate accreditation). even during the dot com-insanity, i financially struggled. for reasons beyond anything to do with my creative or professional worth, several permanent opportunities were denied my way, reasons which i hate bringing up, much less even admitting to myself that they could ever play a factor when talent and experience take centre stage.

i’d be lying if i said i wasn’t horribly jaded.

alternate modes of employment are certainly within my purview, and just because the role may not be creative doesn’t mean i’m not interested in the listing should i find it. curiously, i’m trying to apply for admission at university for that very reason: to diversify my background in fields that reach far away from commercial art.

it’s just going to be a very slow process. and i don’t have any one answer or glimmer of light by which to follow.

thank you for the sage wisdom and pause for concern. i take the attention you gave to this with far more weight than a grain of salt.

let’s hope that things improve somehow.

I know it is rough to be looking for work and not being successful at finding it due to socio-economic factors beyond one’s control. I’ve been there, and ended up working jobs that were not at all creative to pay the bills, but I also knew what I would rather do for a living than work those jobs, and saved my energy for pursuing employment in my field.

You might consider channeling some of your creative energy into artworks or a hobby. I have found my extra-curricular creativity to be more satisfying than my job-related projects because I am working *for myself* and only have to worry about pleasing myself with my output.

Be well, be strong, and believe in yourself and your abilities. Do what you must to pay the bills, but never forget to follow your bliss.

When you’re rich inside, you’re generous to others, and more tolerant.

When you’re fucked-up inside, you can’t be as generous, and the admiration transforms into jealousy and envy and whatnot.

I think it’s all because we’re trained very early on to think of everything as a starvation economy, including good feelings.

Are you okay?

A.