ACCOZZAGLIA

my friend and LMP member Eric wrote me an insightful letter about the fears of burning out on one’s ability to create and express artistically. he covered so many bases on concerns that have been making me question what i’m doing for a living and wondering whether i’m running aground onto irreversible burnout. i think his letter was ironically timed, sandwiched between event #1 and event #3.

anyhow, here’s what he wrote — i felt it both encouraging and uplifting:

From: “Eric” <eric @******.***>
To: accozzaglia at livejournal dot com
Subject: Re: a trio of long-read entries from my LiveJournal over the weekend.
Date: Tue, 3 Jun 2003 09:15:53 -0700

Excuse the long delay on this response — I never like to just whip out a knee-jerk rejoinder to an important missive …

I struggle with many of the same issues you relate — the whole “making art vs. making money” thing, the “how to make a living doing what one is good at without killing one’s passion for it” thing, the whole “forever in debt” thing. I’ve come to a place of renewed security in my talent, casting off years of self-doubt related to how good I am creatively.

With writing, with music: I am damn good. Sometimes unbeatable. With other avenues (photography, film, visual art): I have much to learn, but a unique approach and lots of raw talent. For all creativity I have unflagging passion.

And through years of corporate marketing copywriting and retail music whoredom: I have never lost my passion, nor my spark. Sometimes it seemed like it. I’ve been through long, scary patches of darkness and depression, I’ve been to the brink of quitting everything, but the fire never goes out. Am I thankful? Hell yeah. For I’m not always comfortable, and I’m not always happy, and I’m not always on my game, but I am always blessed, and gifted, and, when I want to be, better than 99% of the world.

I don’t see that as a statement of gigantic ego, but more the result of coming to terms with the notion that I have an amazing amount to offer this world, and it would be profane to hold it back any more.

Which doesn’t guarantee jack shit, of course. I’ll probably always struggle with money, etc. Being “ahead of my time” or whatever. But I owe it to myself and to everyone else to make good on all my creative dreams. So it’s full-speed ahead, no time to question why I’m doing it, or whether it’s worth it. I have to do it — the worthiness is inherent in the desire to create. And if I never make the millions I may well deserve, I still must make my art.

You have been shut down by people who were probably jealous of your abilities, your talent, your uniqueness — for you exceed in all of those areas as very few people I have ever met. I hope you can learn to quiet those voices by making your own much louder and clearer. Write. Design. Photograph. Create. And don’t look back. The world needs it. Now’s your time.

love & light
Eric