denouement.
the state fair.
it all comes down to the one thing that i once thought would certify me as a naturalised minnesotan. i’ve attended the state fair in every year that i’ve lived here. today’s visit will be my fifth and last.
in a way, this is just another passage of letting go of this place. as i sit outside of my flat, waiting for svairini to pick me up, i can’t help but sit here and see everything around me as not today or tomorrow, but simply as a solitary yesterday.
it carries a surreal feeling, namely because i still live here. sorta. smug will be moving in with svairini, yauvanzri and yauvanzri’s mother tonight. she has no idea this is coming, or that it’ll be for an entire month. this should be, ummm, grand. oh boy.
and i still have to compose two difficult letters tonight. one goes to my flat’s management company, announcing my thirty days notice. i’m painstakingly going through and trying to cover every possible base i can in ensuring that they hand over my 1997 deposit of $400, plus 3% compounded annual interest, as mandated by the state. i have a feeling that this will be dragging on for a long time to come. i hope for otherwise, but i know just how arrogant and belligerent the “manager” there is towards all of his tenants. and in my case, cos i’m a skeery girl that doesn’t gel with his pronounced, “non-judgmental mormonism, but …” ethos.
ew.
the other letter is the one to my friends and colleagues, making official my departure to seattle. those on the mailing list, all whom are locally based, will be invited to a little get-together at the chatterbox early next month for what i’m calling an “au gratin party”. of all the things i’ve experienced, one thing that’s never happened is having all my friends and colleagues from every walk of life — each of which made a difference in my life — in the same place at the same time. with my lovely party-throwing luck, i’m liable to get three people in a collection of fifty invites. whee-hee. i’ll play the pretend-optimist and hope for the best.
but here we are, the 2nd of september. it’s pretty much over now. and i’m told by svairini that with this peaceful and memorable ending comes forth a bright, new beginning.
is it supposed to work that way? cos i’m not sure what to feel at this moment!