ACCOZZAGLIA

because it’s pulling me, and heretofore, i’ve pretty much fought it, tooth and nail, with my characteristic tenacity for enduring bad shit.

my project manager at the only talent agency under which i’m registered around here which has also found a drop of work for me in the 2003 calendar year just left a voice message while the line was in use.

she’s a really cool person. she and i click frighteningly well, we both can make fun of Bellevue without batting a lash, and we are both survivors of Minneapolis.

she sounded a bit frustrated: “hey accozzaglia, this is Stephanie. i just got word in from Microsoft [n.b., the client] that the Architect Communiqué newsletter bid fell through, because they pulled the plug on the project.”

“and as if that isn’t good news enough,” she dryly added, “i also just learned today that the existing Communiqué project we’ve been working with for the last six weeks is being merged with two other internal Communiqué newsletters, and the work is going to happen exclusively in-house. i dropped a note to Brad [n.b., my other point person, who's also aces, has the gay and is also a survivor of the Texas public education system] to let him know that you’re out there hanging with nothing. we still have next week’s issue to complete, and after that, it’s over. this really sucks. i’m sorry, because i was really hoping this would open a lot of new possibilities with Microsoft.”

you know? i’m thinking about it, right now, as i write this. and let’s pretend for a sec that you’re reading it along with me as i think about it (even though it happened already by the time you read this, um).

i think there’s really something supernatural knocking on my door and saying to me, “yeahhh hi, you need to step away from the Puget Sound area for now, because there’s nothing hopeful for you there, and you really have had it up to here [n.b., with its hand poised well above my little head] with putting everything on stagnant hold for the last twelve months. you haven’t been asking yourself nearly enough, ‘but is it good for accozzaglia?’ so, as of today’s memo, start looking elsewhere and keep those TPS report covers coming in, m’kay?”

fuck it all. i can’t stay. it’s no longer a viable option for me. this pisses me off, cos i really came here with the intention of turning a new leaf, making good shit happen and feeling a part of a new community.

screw it. call me a cab. take me to wherever i can score some cheddar and some mindlessly productive work.